Untruthful: A dramatic, analytical, and possibly controversial justification of a few of my habits.

A dramatic, analytical, and possibly controversial justification of a few of my habits.
Thursday, February 22, 2007

EDIT: This is an old blog from Myspace that after rereading, I found to be interesting and related to my current "Two Week Challenge" Give it a read. Especially you, ladies.

So. This is going to be a long thoughtful blog, so if you don't like those, stop now. However, if you like getting in people's heads, or just wanna know what Joe thinks, read on.

I'll start with sex. It's such a touchy topic. I don't really know why.
I'll take a few guesses at it though.
Here are the reasons I think you avoid talking about sex (both guys and girls);

-You're afraid of it.
-You want to be "good" at it, but are not.
-You fear rejection.
-You don't enjoy the feeling of knowing less than another person, and thus avoid conversations on such topics, as to avoid being put into a situation where you might actually have to learn something.
-You are actually, and truly, morally opposed to it because of religion. (Thats rare, as usually people use religion as a tool to get/feel what they want.)
-It's awkward for you.

Thats just what came to mind when I asked myself "why?" I'm sure there are others.

Now, heres where this is going to get a little hard. Instead of going on reading with the negative mental attitude that sounds something like...

"What a know-it-all, he doesn't understand me, it's more complicated than that, my reasons for being so conservative are perfectly well backed up."

...instead of that, please continue on this intellectual and philisophical journey with me. Try something like this...

"Am I one of those people? Am I afraid to learn? What if he's right?"

The fact is, sex horrifies you, in one way or another. Guys usually struggle with a strange sense of competition, and frankly, I have no idea how many girls feel about it. In my opinion many take it far too seriously. I'll explain, so I don't get bitched out for something I forgot to mention, rather than something I said.

Notice the use of the word "too".
When someone takes something too seriously, it means they are taking perhaps one aspect of that thing, and blowing it out of proportion.

Many things about sex are solemn and/or serious. Things like marriage and age issues, pregnancy, abortion, STD's, rape, etc..

However not one of those things is so serious that sex should be taboo amongst young people. Pregnancy is rare, unless you're retarded. Use protection. Std's however can be spooky, and of the reasons listed, personally, that one scares me the most. But I'm pretty sure there's a remedy for it: Maybe you should ask before, and only fuck people you actually trust a little? Thats just an idea though, it would probably be impossible to actually do that. lol.

Here's my controversial part:

True love.

Probably exists. But I don't think everyone is going to find it at age 13 and get married 8 years later. To think something like that would be ridiculous. Even thinking that everyone has a special someone, somewhere is somewhat ridiculous. It certainly is a nice thing to think about, yeah, I'd love to believe it about as much as I'd like to believe Santa Clause is gonna climb down my chimney and give me free shit.

Now while a certain percentage of guys might believe in true love, I think it's safe to say that a vastly larger percent of girls believe, or at least want to believe in the true love concept. And for the most part, I encourage that, it's a pretty optimistic outlook on the dating scene. But what are the side-effects?

Someone looking for true love may not be looking at all. I think alot of people wait for true love, and sometimes it doesn't show up.

The fact is, tons of people live super-idealist lives. There is a manual for everything you're ever going to have to do. Mom and dad are the rough equivilent to God's left and right hand. Speaking of god, Jesus saved us, and if you believe anything else, you're gonna burn for it.

Sorry, but I really can't agree with anything I just typed starting at "There" and ending at "it."

I'm not an extremist in any matter. I do try to understand things from all angles, so I may sometimes seem less biased then I actually may be. I usually respect people when they respect me.

With that said, I'll continue.

Do you have to love the person you fuck?
If not, are you a bad person?
If so, can you love more than one person ever? How long does it take to "love" someone?

There are so many questions involved, how could you possibly answer all of them correctly? You can't because a lot of them conflict. People want to screw, everybody knows that. Well I should say, people who know they're going to like what they experience, want to screw.

I'm sure I'll fall for some girl, some day, somewhere, for good. But I'm sure before that, I'll have been in plenty of relationships. None of which I will regret, and none of which will cause me any pain. Why not fall in love a few hundred times, before you find that you don't want to again? Does it make it less special just because you've felt for someone else? Thats crazy.

If you want to be happy, get ready to be sad sometimes. Why do you dread being down so much? You know when something good happens to you, you're going to feel all the more incredible about it, so why not just let the somber moment stay, and eventually pass?

And if you want to make someone else happy, you better be ready to fuck up sometimes.

I really am rambling now, and if anyone read this far, I applaud you, and I really am flattered frankly, that you're that interested in this.

Heres something else that bothers me:

How when you are loving, or starting to fall, or even just at the edge, about to fall off, or anywhere in-between, when love gets introduced to the equation that is your life, every thing is okay. Everything isn't great, it ain't shitty, its just okay.

For example, usually in a state of love, my grades suffer. Because I don't really care about them that much anymore. Everything just gets numbed by the fact that she'll still love me back.

(I feel like such an emo bitch right now.)

And if I could kick myself in the head, I probably would. But the fact is, even if some dude reads this and says "what a fag" he's probably just too scared to bare all, because he's afraid to be judged, so he'll act tough. So I just don't care. lol.

Anyway. It bothers me sometimes, that numbing feeling. It's like a drug that's farrr too powerful for me to be fucking around with. And the comedown is exceptionally hard. You can go from invincible to fetal in two quick words. "It's over."

Sooo what the fuck are you gonna do? Life's crazy up and down and sometimes quite discomforting. The way I see it, people can live simple, standard, very neat, and happy lives by clinging to the morals of their fathers, religion, and the overall extra-protective society. But get ready to be closed minded. Get ready to not be able to open that book and read those things because they are taboo, they are forbidden to you. And embrace censorship.

Or you could try to open your mind a bit. See things in different lights. That's what I'm gonna try to do I guess. Until someone changes my mind I guess.

Yeah, it's that simple.