A Word on Relationships
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
It occurred to me today while pondering life in calculus, that relationships really are a bit of a science. A lot of people think it's magic and luck, "Mr. Right" "Ms. Perfect" all that shit. And maybe it is somewhat, but there's something more to it. And when I say "something more" don't assume complex because its really quite simple. I think its just an issue of devotion, and wanting what you get out of a long relationship. And please, let me point out that a long relationship, and a meaningful relationship are two different things.
I was in one of those once. Though I'm not sure which as of yet. Here's how it worked; I cared, she cared, and neither cared if the other did. That was how it was at first. Very basic affection. It was nice, somewhat casual, almost like friends. Then, as soon as a dependency for affection developed (on both sides), it changed into a different beast entirely. Especially with the element of sex introduced, it became quite confusing. Fun, but also confusing. It eventually got to be very clingy. Practically Romeo and Juliet clingy. You know, we were so desperately in love we didn't know what to do! So, in a roundabout kind of way, we broke up. What ensued afterwards sort of ruined the whole thing for me. But that's another story.
So here's where the meat of what I'm trying to say. That summary above took place over about 2 years. That might not be as long as your longest relationship. But its my longest, and personally I think 2 years is quite a stretch for a high school relationship. How did it get that long? We both wanted the same thing. The ultimate goal of a romantic relationship, at least emotionally, is to reach the point where you hold nothing back. Complete openness. As opposed to physically... I don't know... your wildest fantasies realized. Well I got that first one for awhile. It was a completely open relationship, at least I like to think so. I told her everything, and she told me everything. We could talk about anything with out fear of rejection. It's a real luxury, having someone like that in your life. But easy to take for granted once you find someone.
Now as wonderful as it was, I can't admit that it was magical. Because what happened after we broke up wasn't magical. And there's nothing spectacular about her now. I might sound like I'm being harsh. Well that's because I am. I don't like to warm up to the notion that she could still be that special someone to me, because she couldn't. So whats the moral? Well, I think that if more people were to see the relationship for what it really is, rather than blind affection, more people would enjoy a happy relationship. The only thing that made mine work was a good chemistry, good intentions, and a bit of luck. It was not magic, fate, or meant to be. She was not special, nor was I. We were strangers when it started, and that's what we are now. But nothing lasts forever.
I think it's true for everyone. It's a universally true point that I just made, whether you want to agree with it or not. I don't care either way, it's the way I see things.
As for me, it really wouldn't take the perfect girl to make my life complete. It would just take someone I get along with and am somewhat attracted to. Good luck meeting those criteria.
Posted byJoe at 2:13 PM
