In Retrospect.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
It really is amazing how much emotion the smallest thing can stir in you.
Once upon a time, I was eating Japanese with a girl. Even though I'm quite confident that the fortune cookie is of the Chinese culture, they gave me one. Reflecting on that situation, I could easily see it as having been a cute favor played out by the restaurant owner or waitress. But anyway. I finished my food, and cracked open the cookie. As I read my fortune off of the small slip of paper, I felt my lips forming a smile. I couldn't help it. "Too easy" I thought to myself, as I began to rattle of an introduction to a charming gesture. It really was second-nature at that point. I didn't have to try to get a blush out of her. I just sort of did it. It was satisfying and depressing simultaneously. While I loved to charm, maybe the frequency and ease, and the lack of failure that occurred made it a little boring gradually.
Anyway, I handed her the slip of paper, and recited the line aloud,
"Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you."
At first, maybe a bit astonished. But it didn't take long for the blush to appear. I was satisfied. So I finished my drink and we left. I took the slip, and put it in my pocket. Later when I got home I set it on my dresser. And then I guess I forgot about it.
How funny that I should find it again now. How unfortunate actually. Because the last thing I want is to give a shit. And I suppose as soon as the last word of this short memoir is over, I won't. This is my eulogy, for something I used to cherish. But the focus of something like this is to focus on the past, not the present. You know, the life, not the corpse. So I reflected about that moment, when I found this slip of paper, and remembered, if just for a short time, how fun it was.
But in retrospect, I really never should have cracked that cookie open and read that little piece of paper. I should have just eaten the whole fucking thing.
Aren't you glad that ended on a positive note?
Posted byJoe at 9:23 PM
